Mystic Matters: Reclaiming Foreplay, Why Short-Circuit Your Bliss?

Foreplay for the Rest of Us

Foreplay for the Rest of Us

I was doing a “let’s raise the god-stuff within” practice with friends and I said: “you know, I need more foreplay before we do this!  I need to prime the pump before I can go deeper with this.”  We laughed and then agreed to “take time” before going into the experience that brought us together; to prime the pump so that we could experience more deeply!  Voila, that’s fore-play!

What did that look like?  Well, I played the didgeridoo for some minutes, then  we read a Rumi piece which always moistens the heart, then we were silent for ten minutes and then….we began.

Foreplay is a practice and an art and although we associate it mostly with sex, it is essential for any creative/soulful/meaningful undertaking;  It is the “art of readiness”.

For example, say you are going to begin a creative project.  You must do something to start the juices flowing.  You might do a free association “anything goes” brainstorming session with others or you might use improv scenarios to explore how this creative something might come about, “the acting as if” until new ideas bubble up and the same ole same ole mind is out-witted!

Improv is a great form of foreplay because it  quickens brain activity,  stokes imagination, and hurls you over and over into present moment rapid response time sweeping away your ability to be distracted, a major downer for any successful foreplay in or out of bed!

G-Spot gives Way to Still-Point...

G-Spot Yields to Still-Point!

If you want to meditate, you know that achieving some stillness in your body before you begin is helpful to the experience, so, you might chant sounds that vibrate through your nervous system or sing  (row row row your boat is a great one–slow it down and really listen to the lyrics, profound, eh?) or move wildly about the room breathing fully, arms extended, repeating yes, yes, yes with gusto, laughing until you feel spent…voila, foreplay to still-point.

 The clown is the master of foreplay!  When I teach a class and people have no idea how to get out of their serious suit and find the inner heretic, I have them exaggerate their movements, throw arms overhead and say things like:  “I am so depressed!” or I have absolutely NO complaints!” or Everything is going my way!” until they dissolve in laughter.  Or…read “The Jumblies & and Other Nonsense Verses by Edward Lear.  Then….the clown begins to peak out, lost in the willy nilly! 

Lost in the Willy Nilly

Lost in the Willy Nilly

I invite you to become aware that the mystic in you loves foreplay because she is attracted to the essence of things and the essence is not the first to be seen, it must be charmed and cajoled to show itself because it is ephemeral.  It is shy!  Learn to milk experience until you find the joy in it, the humor in it, the light of it…there is a kind of nourishment here that you may not find when you just try to finish your list or get the job done!

Understand that foreplay readies you for the essence of what we often think of as just everyday stuff!

A silly song, a hearty laugh, a mind moment with the whales or the spinning earth or the sunflower fields of Tuscany readies you, “receptives” you!


I am learning that what we do is not as important as how we do it. Everything requires an entrance “into it”.  If you just barge in “to get things done”, you lose; the essence never has a chance to show up.

If you make love sloppily and mindlessly to anything, you lose.  You short-circuit your life. You dull the moments.



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